Robert Mapplethorpe

When I have sex with someone I forget who I am. For a minute I even forget I'm human. It's the same thing when I'm behind a camera. I forget I exist.

When I watch you move I can't think straight, such a beautiful feeling

My camera is being shipped to Canon and I eagerly await news as to when I can start shooting again. Once it is fixed I want to take a lot of photos of people that involve fireworks or some other kinds of explosives. I feel like these past few weeks have been slightly devastating. I had some heartbreak, but I'm better and grateful for it. I kept repeating things can always be worse until it was sincere. The more I fail the more I realize I'm extremely blessed and loved. I maybe hysterical, overly sensitive, too quick to burn bridges, but I feel more myself and alive than I ever been.

Motherfucking Life

I'm going to take my camera in to get fixed today. I pray I wont be making a ton of visits to the blood bank to finance the repairs. Life is slow and frustrating right now. I don't want to shake things up anymore. I want to shake me up. I was driving down the street yesterday and saw a dead body just a few blocks from where I used to go to school. In retrospect, I have known a few people, who were murdered on the streets and even some who had killed, but for some reason seeing this stranger made me sob. I don't know if it was, because it was right outside the same section eight buildings my sister had contemplated moving to or the helpless women surrounding him also weeping. It left me feeling really sick in a way I cant shake and even more conivnced to leave.

Two hearts beat as one

This one is from the archives

I want Something good to Die for to Make it Beautiful to Live

Karl Marx

Art is always and everywhere the secret confession, and at the same time the immortal movement of its time.

And you Kept us Awake with Wolves teeth

I am so thoroughly sick of my life to the extent I might actually do something about it. I realized in terms of accomplishing what I want, I am my biggest obstacle. I don't believe in myself and am always so eager to settle for what is there instead of owning what I want. I want my life to be dedicated to art period. I want to live as passionately and unashamed as the people I admire. I don't want to be lonesome for my heroes, I want to be my own hero.