Sisters

 

                                                          Alyx and Alex, Sisters 2012.

 

Throughout the course of my life there is no one I loved or hated more than my sister. She is only a couple years older than me, but as a child she was the center of my entire universe my protector, my confidant, and my best friend. My mother suffered from depression and was distant so I looked to my sister for the affection and validation most people receive from their parents I even called her mom. As I grew older the dynamics in our relationship changed and there was no one I felt more taken advantage by, responsible for, and resentful of my success. I based this set on my feelings about our relationship. We are in most ways polar opposites even physically she is dark to my light, but in some respects we are the same person. All the qualities I like least about myself are the ones that remind me the most of her. We have not spoken in over 7 months and I decided to no longer continue the relationship when she assaulted me earlier this year. The experience of being physically hurt by someone I loved was nothing new, but something about this time was different. I always forgave people close to me regardless of how bad they hurt me with the hope that if I loved them enough it would change them. I finally recognized I was not being a better person by putting myself in a position to be victimized over and over again if anything I was just a slave to a pattern. I am learning how and when to walk away.