Second Hand Living Just Won't Do

I apologize to everyone who follows my blog. I feel like every few months I have an obligatory I know I have been such a jackass about posting post. I have been distracted by infatuation, receiving attention from strangers and feeling sorry for myself. My car broke down and I haven't been able to focus on anything important. I can't shake the feeling all the things I was living for at one time are now killing me and how much more easier life was when I wasn't trying. I also have to apologize to anyone who has an attachment or attraction to me. I will push you away, I will make you suffer, I will play with your emotions, because I am terrified and as fickle as the weather.